Find Your Flow

The Lila of Life

Lila (lee-lah) is a concept in Hinduism literally meaning "play", "sport" or "pastime". But, richer than our English meaning of these words, it is referring to the "divine play" of creation, death and life again. It is the folding and unfolding of events in our days, the waxing and waning, so to speak.......the swinging of the pendulum of life. There is much beauty to be found in this "drama", as long as we can stay in a seat of the witness, doing our very best to act with non-attachment, remembering that the drama is forever unfolding before us, and that the drama itself, is not us.....We are just watching it all unfold in amazement and with wonder.

Riding the Swing of the Pendulum

As we set out each day, there will be many challenges that we are faced with. They may present themselves to us physically, psychologically, or spiritually. I have noticed in class lately, that some are feeling more limitations physically (including myself). Our bodies may not be responding as we hoped they would when we committed ourselves to be yogis. We may be questioning why we are not feeling better, or why, if we keep coming back, does my back still ache, my shoulders still feel tense, I am still 10 pounds overweight, or my headaches have not gone away etc..... We set out thinking that the practice of asana is going to be the end all, be all answer, and when it fails us, or we feel let down by it, we want to walk away. We look over at the person practicing these asanas next to us, and think, "why am I feeling this way and she has such a beautifully strong practice". Don't speak too soon.......The wave is going to shift out to see, and fold and unfold on itself many, many more times.

Our relationships and roles in the world act in much the same way. One day we are the healthy friend who can support the friend who's children are sick, dog has passed, and husband has lost his job. Then the lila of life gets played out in a very different way, and we are now faced with our own struggles and in need of additional support. We find ourselves ducking, so that we do not end up knocked out by that swinging pendulum.

The Practice Of Non-Attachment:

Perhaps, learning to ride on the pendulum with a sense of wonder, playfulness, courage, and receptivity is when our days can become even more rich and full. Perhaps practicing true non-attachment to either the good or bad moments....to when life is full and rich, or to when it is flat and depleted......is when we will begin to love this life even more. Asking ourselves over and over throughout our days, are we watching the drama, or have we become a player in the drama?

True non-attachment (or being the witness instead of the player) does not mean that we relinquish our responsibility in our daily happenings. It does not mean that we are aloof and cold, detached from the feelings of others. Watching the drama unfold, does not give us a pass out of living life to it's fullest. I think we fear that if we allow ourselves to give up our attachments to money (for example) we will then end up living on the streets. Or, in a second example, if we give up our attachment to being validated by others so that we feel smart, pretty etc...we will then become ugly, and dull. Actually with true non-attachment, we are able to be free from the pulls of the ego, so that we can see the situations for what they truly are. We can honestly see our own needs, and separate ourselves from the others' needs, and be able to then respond accordingly, not being pulled down into the spiral. This way of being in the world, offers us so much more room for freedom and letting go...so much more enjoyment.

I find the following passage from www.urbanmonk.net extremely useful when considering true non-attachment, and how it allows us to embrace the beautiful lila of life:

"....one of the wisest gifts we can give ourselves is to gently let go of our attachments. As we do so, we feel progressively lighter and freer. Without any fear of losing what we have, without being pushed and pulled by our inner likes and dislikes, we begin to find increased equanimity and genuine affection.

.....However, many people resist this concept. They believe that letting go of their attachments means letting go of the object or the person, and their lives will turn drab and gray..................Any fear about losing vibrancy in life likely comes from confusion between non-attachment and detachment. Many teachers speak of detachment as a form of self-protection, based on hidden fear. The woman who cannot find a lover might give up. A man who has been hurt many times might withdraw and never open his heart again. They lead a life of sadness, but they deny it, sometimes with clever rationalization.....

How do we tell the difference between non-attachment and detachment? This can be difficult. We check in with our thoughts and feelings regularly with unflinching honesty. Often, detachment leads to withdrawal. We become indifferent and lifeless. If we are alert, we will find a subtle negativity and judgement behind our detachment. Non-attachment is non-judgemental. The less we are pushed and pulled around by our exaggerated inner likes and dislikes, the more clearly we can see the world. This is tremendously freeing, and leads to increased compassion, tranquillity and lightness."

The practice of Equanimity

"Equanimity is the ground for wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love. While some may think of equanimity as dry neutrality or cool aloofness, mature equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with Equanimity as 'abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill-will'."-Gil Fronsdale

Riding the pendulum back and forth, being the witness to the drama, and practicing non-attachment, all require a sense of equanimity. As the seasons change, we are reminded of natures persistence and insistence on equanimity. The falling dead leaves, will soon be covered in snow, and eventually will be green and full of life on the branches again...it all equals back out. In order to manage the inevitable changes of life, we have the gift of our yoga practice and the amazing tools that it offers us. First and foremost, we know how to breathe. The practice of proper, conscious breathing, especially noticeable in the ujjayi pranayama technique of vinyasa yoga, challenges us to breathe equally.

Sit in a quiet, still place, close your eyes and take notice of your breath. Relax your inner jaw, unclench your teeth, and leave your tongue soft in your mouth. Bring your awareness to the base of your neck, where your collarbones meet. As if sipping the breath through a straw right at the base of your throat, breath deeply in. Draw the breath straight into your throat...hear the sound of your soft, sweet breath. Allow the inhale to fill your rib cage, and extend into the spaces between your vertebra, rising to the crown of your head. Allow the exhale to be move straight out of the base of the throat....the sound, duration and quality of your exhale should match that of your inhale. Let the exhale ground your pelvis down, feeling a sense of rooting into the earth. Repeat this at least 10 times, keeping your focus on EQUANIMITY...equal length, pace, sound and intention of your inhale and exhale. At the end of 10 breaths, sit or lay quietly for a few minutes, allowing the pranayama practice to infuse your spirit.

May we all walk with greater ease in the world, allowing for joy and grace i our hearts as we ride the forever swinging pendulum of life, playing witness to the forever unfolding, gorgeous, divine lila. ~~om shanti om shanti om shanti~~